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Hoax Coast Postings - Highlights from the Hoax Coast Surf Postings

[With Listbot taking the decision to remove old postings more than a year old, I didn't want some of the old postings to disappear forever, so I've taken some of the best! (how do you choose!) and put them here. There's quite a few missing - esp. around 1998 and 1999 which included the famous SHARK ATTACK series. If anyone has copies, forward them to me, and I'm happy to archive them here. The current archive of the last twelve months postings is still available on the Listbot page  Current emails are done through Yahoo Groups-Hoax Coast Mailing List]



Cheat Sticks

What Board Now?

Queensland Surfari

Refuse Hopper Revisited

Am I Getting Old?

FAQ: Johnno answers the questions for surfers returing from long-service leave

PSC Report

Best Surf Ever!

Facts about the Best Prom Ever!

Fear & Loathing at Gunnamatta

JC Profile

Hubba Profile

Howey Profile

Mwabe Profile

Duffy Profile

The Names of the Waves in the Bay

Magic Names

Dusk at Honeysuckle

West Coast Story

Warrick Profile

Geoff Profile

Mick T Profile

Andrew Profile

Best Crunchy in Two Years?

Hootas in Mallacoota

RIP - Herbie Hammond

Remembering Herbie

PSC Election Shock!

The Natural History of Gunna

Gavs Back!

Bay Alert!

Warrick gets a new board

Date: Fri, 18 Jul 1997 16:01:07 +1000 (EST) To: From: (Gavin Duffy) Subject: Hoax Coast Surf report Hi fellow Hoaxers,

Subject: G-Land

Here's the report on "Hoaxer's in Paradise" G-Land Date:

29-6-97 Waves: 6' -8' (with larger sneaker sets) Moneytrees and Speedies Wind : light offshore General Comments: After traveling all night on bemo across Bali, Ferry to Java, Bemo down to the bottom eastern tip of Java and a 2hr Shark cat ride, we arrive at the G-spot. Seppo says he was chased in by an 8' Tiger shark. 9.000am Java time. First day out. Fairly Crowded by G-Land standards. A very intimidating lineup, sitting on the shoulder looking into the eye of the hollowest waves I've ever seen (in real life). Water, warm. Sun, hot. Awesome very fast shallow left hander (freight train) comes to mind. G-Land Date:

30-7-97 Waves: 3' -6' Speedies Wind : light offshore General Comments: Pretty small crowd The lads paddled up the reef a bit, But I had some good medium size waves. A grest way to get familiar with place, and a few XXXtra hollow, ones.

G-Land Date: 1-7-97 Waves: 4' -7' (with larger sneaker sets) Moneytrees and Speedies Wind : light onshore turning offshore by 11am General Comments: Not as Crowded by G-Land standards. The lads got into it abit more. Harry cut hand on reef. I rode Besty's board. Still an awesome very fast shallow left hander.

G-Land Date: 2-7-97 Waves: 6' -8' (with larger sneaker sets) Launching pad Wind : light onshore turning offshore by 10am General Comments: A.M. surf: High tide going out swell a little straighter to the reef. Best so far. P.M. surf: Low tide, very mean shallow spitting beasts. Geoff ripped fin out on reef. An even more awesome very fast shallow left hander.

G-Land Date: 3-7-97 Waves: 6' -10' (with larger sneaker sets) Biggest Day of trip. Wind : light onshore turning offshore by 11am General Comments: Last day A guy from Newcastle gets pitched at launching pad. Back ripped up and has to come back on boat with us. Spent all day travelling to arrive back to Bali and a political coup in our hotel....... but that's another story. ______________________

Gavin Duffy - Powerhouse Design

Date: 12th July 1997

Subject: Cheat Sticks

Hoax Coast Surf Forum - Saturday, 12 July 1997 The other day a guy at the beach called my 7'4" a 'cheat-stick'. I've been looking up all the names the American mags give to the new high performance longer boards with edges but I couldn't find that one. Here's some of them. What's your favourite? Or do you have another name for 'em? Hybird Funboard BigBoy Equalizer Micro-Mal Combination Board Millenium Boards Dolphin Nuggets (McCoy only?) Slug Pug Performer Fish Hybrids Grovel Boards

Date:Saturday, 12 July 1997


Okay, so I've been back surfing over fifteen months now, getting some good waves and (most important) really enjoying the surfing experience after not surfing for so long. But where to now? The 8' mini-mal gets into waves nice and early, goes fast down the line and good to paddle, but it doesn't hit the lip like I (sometimes) want to, and is awkward in the cutback zone, especially on the forehand. It seems I want some kind of hybrid thing, thicker and with more width and length than the no-nose Kelly Slater pop-outs that only work if you're 18 and surfing 6' Off the Wall! I want to be able to paddle it, but also turn it, and duck it UNDER waves. I want it all! But no-one (on this coast anyway) seems to be making boards like this. I saw a couple down in Lorne and browsing the American mags I've found some references to boards that sound like what I want. Names vary, the basic idea of performance board for older surfers! persists. Here's what some of the mags say:

Funboard - 'for summer conditions I recommend a HYBRID or FUNBOARD, 7'0" to 7'04" with shorboard rocker and nose like a pointed longboard. What you get is two boards in one, rides like a shortboard, catches waves like a longboard (Roland Chocarro - Surfing - June 1997 - check out his website at BigBoy - 'we are thrashing out exciting new treats such as wider tails for the guys who have earned them and are still deserving of a notable slashing tool.

FUNBOARDS - the babe to the longboard, continue to follow the shortboard characteristics, while still providing float and stability.' (Robert Manville - Surfing - June 1997) BigBoy - 'Surfers are constantly coming into my store looking for wider and thicker boards. These are guys who are in shape and can surf really well too. They're looking for a board that will paddle well, have good wave entry and be responsive rail to rail. I've been accommodating with two designs; the BIGBOY shortboard and the Power Fish. The BigBoy surfboard is a high performance board that is wider and thicker than your normal shortboard. They come in either a single to double concave or a flat to vee type bottom.' (Doug Banks - Surfing - June 1997) Equalizer - 'will help the more experienced surfer maintain dignity while grovelling!' (John Carper - Surfing - June 1997) Combination Board - 'After years of the thin and narrow toothpicks everyone was riding I noticed that I became exhausted in the water quickly due to the shape of the board. I started to think about other surfers and their exhaustion as well, so I decided to create a COMBINATION BOARD that reflects the early 80s and the early 90s . . . These boards have helped my customers catch waves with ease and manouver as well or better than before and has given older guys a chance to ride short boards again.' (Ritchie Collins - Surfing - June 1997) Millenium Board - 'Longboards and funboards continue to be strong, but watch out for the new MILLLENIUM boards due out this spring. With the paddle of a longboard and the performance of a shortboard they promise to be revolutionary in shape.' (Greg Loehr - Surfing - June 1997) Dolphin - 'Fun shapes and longboards make sense and offer more fun for more surfers at most breaks. Longboarders are getting longer and longboarders are getting shorter (younger) . . . new design called THE DOLPHIN which has a rounded square tail and an egg type nose. The dimensions are 7'6" x 14.75" x 21" x 14.25" x 2.75". (Masi Saili - Gordon and Smith - Surfing - June 1997) Slug - '1997 looks to be another huge year for the SLUG boards. The SLUG model, in its various sizes, has presented about 80% of overall Hobie surfboard production during the past three seasons. This confirms my theory that more surfers are realising that the sport of surfing is more than reading magazines and watching videos.' (Peter Pan - Hobie Surfboards - Surfing - June 1997) Pug Performer - 'We call this performance hybrid series the PUG PERFORMER. These boards are designed around the needs of the average Joe. The concept is FUN. (Length - 7'2" x 21", thickness 2 1/2" Good names hey? But is anyone on this coast making anything like them? Other names to come up were FISH HYBRIDS, GROVEL BOARDS

Date: 1997

Subject: QUEENSLAND SURFARI from Warrick

Saturday - Arrived at Coolongatta to find my board has been sent to SYDNEY. They promised to find it, and did in time for me to have a quick windy surf in front of the apartment about a kilometer south of CAVILL AVE (main dive) Peaky and hard to pick around 3', but incredibly, WARM and very comfortable in a SHORT ARM SPRING SUIT.

Sunday - Still peaky but better today at about the same size. The mornings are definitely the go, quite glassy before the wind comes up in the afternoon. Spent some time talking to a local who told me 'they shouldn't call it Surfers paradise, they should call it Surfers shit.' Hmm, I thought, then what are you doing out here? He told me that Coolongatta would be better but I'm carless and clueless.

Monday - Didn't surf but did get some sick barrells at WET N WILD! the theme park for those who like it wet and fast! After warming up with some aptly named flumes called PIPELINE, BOMBORA, RIPTIDE and (as if they ran out of surfing words) WHIRLPOOL! it was time for the CORKSCREW; a hellish back contorting sick tube that is completely DARK. When I emerged out of the warm dark spinning enclosure into the bright light I felt I was born again and would be a better person from now on! The wave pool was diaappointing; sort of like Mills Beach with a light onshore, but the TERROR CANYON was considerably more intense.

Tuesday - Peaky and about 3' but inconsistent and by 10.00 am definitely onshore. The wind comes in early here and afternoon surfs are non-existent. Stil warm and good

Wednesday - the worst weather so far, but the best surf with 3' glassy peaks out in front of Aquarius so up for a quick surf before breakfast with some of the right handers lining up a long way. The swell direction has shifted more from the south today and the rights are longer while the lefts were more likely to close out. After a hearty breakfast back out for a longer surf though the tide filled up eventually and it became inconsistent; the kind of surf likely to see Gavin and Geoff fighting! So I headed for a quick swim and then a hot, hot spa to ease those paddling knots in the lower back. Very civilized!

Thursday - The best surf yet, and the biggest, with 4'+ peaky sets up and down the coast in the morning. I went for a pre-breakfast surf and was soon wide awake when the biggest set of the day broke right on my head as I tried (unsuccessfully) to pick a lull. I managed to get four or five peaky waves that broke very hollow before hitting a shallow sand bar. It was knowning when to flick out or face a tough paddle back out. I saw some good surfing this morninga, the best I'd seen so far, with the locals really in full force for the first time. Not many long boards in evidence, which surprised me; I'd heard they were big on this coast, but even the surf shops were not stocking a lot of 'mals' or 'fun boards.' I picked up the car after the surf and later that day we drove to NOOSA and the Sunshine Coast.

Friday - Sunshine Beaach - you've heard of Thousand Island dressing? This was thousand wave session, about 3-4' and glassy peaks as far as the eye could see; and it could see a long way. Peaks could come in anywhere, you'd see them coming, paddle to the centre and take off either right or left. And do it again, and again, and again! The most fun yet. After a can of lemonade and some sand-castle building I headed out for a boardshort session! Now, the last time I wore boardshorts surfing was at Wilsons Promontory last January the day the peninsula almost burn down. This water was definitely warmer, and though the onshore had come up (as it does by 10.30 am at the latest, still got some good fun ones. Saw some hot locals doing some good cutties but some of them couldn't control their re-entries very well and went right up into the air! Boy, did I have a laugh!

Sad Saturday - a few little waves in the morning but smaller, and windier earlier! Another surf in boardshorts bt my mind was really on the minute steak and the AFL Grand Final. Alas and alack to that!

Sunday - Smaller! and an unseasonably onshore from nowhere. This day I didn't even take my wetsuit to the beach, just ran down in boardies! Warm water, but crappy surf today. Somewhat refreshed though, checking the surf at the end of the day (still terrible) to see two humpback whales making their way down south!

Monday - after a wild night of lightning and wind, the swell was much bigger today but with no shape; kind of a like a bad day at Black Rock, or Gulls Way! (is there such a thing as a bad day at Gulls Way?) Gave it a miss and went driving into the hinterland looking for woodcrafts and beads and linen shops. Why? I don't know.

Tuesday - back to sunshine and some cleaner waves this morning, though still stormy and disorganised. I saw a couple of dolphins up close; had that little shock of fin...shark, but then I saw another and another, coming right out of the water at times.

Wednesday - Boardshorts, dolphins, 21 degrees crystal clear water, beach-breaks - is this getting boring? Cleaner waves today with some good walls early before the tide dropped and the whole long Sunshine Beach turned into a big closeout that even Howey wouldn't like. I guess the large numbers of attractive women wearing very little helped relieve the monotony of bodysurfing between the flags.

Thursday - Up and out of there early to the Sunshine Coast airport. I couldn't help noticing the empty 2-3' peaks up and sown the coast as we left or the extremely blue nature of the ksy and water; a bit different to Western Port grey! Oh well, just another day in paradise.

Date: Nov 15 1997

Subject: Re: Hoax Coast -refuse hopper revisited

High Tide. They say the windswept craggy outcrops and volcanic rocks of the "hopper" bear an uncanny resemblance to the wild southern coast of Ireland and just like an Agatha Cristie mystery ,the hoax brothers found themselves in this unforbidding place on the wrong day at the wrong time. A barnacle encrusted track shoe oozing a fleshy maggot invested substance washed up on the razor reef...Was it a foot inside ? too disgusting to investigate more closely ,we will never know. Solid onshore peaks folding onto dry reef , grey skies and an unseasonally cold southerly wind , paddling into an empty windswept line-up - first attempt, pressed onto the boiling ledge, finally out the back, a few ledging pits then pinballed through the inside reef, new board , no dings , lucky. Sometimes I wonder.... Johnno

Date: Nov 22 1997

Subject: Am I Getting Old? From: Dromana secondary College

Has this been the duddest season for quality waves on record. The amount of classic days in Westernport can literally be counted on one hand. As the El Nino and Global Warming kicks in will the Hoax Coast become another East Coast of Australia surf spot with mainly Beach breaks and few classic reef break days or is it a freak year.Remember the classic days of the 70's when Pines seemed to be working for weeks on end? Am i just getting Old? Andrew

Date: Dec 6, 1997

Subject FAQ for Surfers Returning from Extended Leave

Thanks to those who responded to the FAQ for Surfers returning. I now post the definitive answers for those who had any doubts but may have been too afraid to ask. A special commendation must go to Johnno who put off a day's work at SPY and a Marketing assignment to put togethere the most comprehensive answers yet! When I've been in doubt I've included a couple of answers. Thanks.

1. Is it cool to ask for Honey Wax or is it better to stick with BP?

Go for deck grip.If you must use wax, make sure it is user friendly, environmentally safe and endorsed by the 'Surfwider' foundation; Good wholesome brands include Dr Zoggs sex wax and Mrs Palmer and her five daughters.

2. Is 'Tracks' still the best magazine?

Tracks is still the best magazine...for the facist corporate pigs that fill this once great oracle of knowledge with a load of commercial garbage that has tainted and tarnished one of the worlds most beautiful experiences. For real surfers... if you must read , check out the pictures on the weather page.

3. Now that Rabbits a bit old, whos the best surfers?

The worlds best surfer is the greek legend Enzo pirelli

4. Is Maalea still the fastest wave in the world?

The fastest wave in the world is now located about 1 hour inland from Tokyo in the Banzi Bonza wave pool where a wave breaks so fast you can just barely make it on a 7.6"Pat Morgan Keel.

5. Should you still know the words to 'Simple Ben?

Simple Ben has been banned from Distribution in Australia as it was deemed discriminitory against the intellectually challenged. or Yes but don't tell anyone.

6. What happened to George Greenough and the spoon kneeboard?

George Greenough has just released his latest sequel to Crystal Voyager called Ktel Voyager. you get a free set of spoons with every purchase. He lives on 150 acres at Broken Head and surfs a mat.

7. Are there still 'reefies?

Most of the reefies are now living in Nias and lombok , surfing booshiiit waves and growing hemp plants for a leading multinational jeans manafacturer owned by a Mr P. Maggot and a Mr I Mumbles. or Yes, but they're all in jail or Do you mean those shit thongs?

8. Does Pumping Station still work?

Pumping station still goes off , unfortunately so does your flesh if you do not immediatly immerse yourself in a bath of phenyle and disinfectant after surfing the putrid shit hole.

9. What is the proper length of a board nowadays?

The proper length of a board is 8 feet exactly.

10 Are thrusters still called that?

Thrusters are now called Thrusterz©

11 What did that guy mean when he said he was 'getting air?

Getting air is the nineties move... it refers to any manouvre in which the surfer leaves the wave ... perhaps including paddling in and pissing off...which I wish all these wankers that dont know that the tuberide is the essence , would do.

12 Can you still get Stingers?

Up in Cairns during summer or Stingers are no longer available in the generic sense as they infringe on the trademark owned by top 44 pro surfer Tony "stingerRay" Stingerú-Ray surfboards are available however at selected surf shops and Aquatic centres.

13 Do Trigger Bros. still use that hideous ye olde English lettering?

Although Trigger Bros no longer use ye old english lettering Phil & Paul Trigger still oppose legropes in contests , sponsor the Australian board caddy Association and apply for an entry into the Smirnoff each year.

14. Is Captain Goodvibes the most popular cartoon surfer?

Captain Goodvibes was syndicated in the late eighties by the Murdoch corporation and achieved massive success until allegations of swine peodiphillia on a remote field in Flinders ruined his career. He now compares a cable sports program in Connetticut , New Jersey or No Mwabe is.

15 Does the East coast still hate the west coast hate the Island etc etc?

A little rivalry is good or The east coast hates the West coast , The island hates the entire world beyond San Remo and the west coast (now officially the surf coast) still dont know the island and the east coast exist .

16 Is getting tubed still called that - or is it 'a 2.4 second cover-over for dobule points?

Getting tubed is the pure essence of surfing and will remain the only element that really matters and makes a difference. Anyone who disagrees is a wanker and doesnt have the faintest idea of what surfing is or No. and Johno is not happy about it.

17 Whats the role of surfie chicks nowadays?

Looking after the dog or same as it ever was or Surfie chicks are now referred to as breasted surfing persons and have their own unique place in the line up.

18 Why the sudden popularity of body boards?

You cannot fall off or bodyboard riding requires absolutely no skill, no talent and no commitment to achieve an elite level of mastery. It is likened to the plastic footy syndrome ie.. you will get a real one (surfboard) when you grow up .. unfortunately a large percentage of the population never grow up.

19 Why the sudden popularity of Crunchy Point?

Old pricks on Mals or The hump doesn't work any more or Crunchy point became famous in the winter swell of 89 when Gavin Duffy surfed an entire heat there (whilst his competitors rode the point)in protest at the poor treatment of displaced croatian muslims in Bosnia. He failed to progress to the next round but did win massive support from the Point Leo camping fraternity .

20 Why do they call it 'Piggies?

Because you have to walk across a paddock of wild pigs to get there.

© Hoax Coast On-Line Surf Report 1996.

Date: Dec 20 1997

Subject: PSC Report

Hoax Coast - PSC Report Skipper goes a Record term Skip Easton was last night elected president of the Peninsula Surfriders club unopposed. On his acceptance of the position he didnt tell the eager gathering that they were clapping themselves -but perhaps he should have; to give us saltier surfers a laugh in an otherwise uneventful evening. Highlights of the evening were:- 1. A new over 40`s division introduced to attract back original champions such as Milton,Mwabe and Buzzy into the competition arena. 2.Little Harry and Melissa team up as contest director(s) this year and will get married also to ensure that smooth and professional contests are standard. 3. Kneeboards to be reintroduced if they get 4 competitors ; much to Howeys disgust , who suggested a mats and lilo division would be better. 4.Besty was very angry at everyone for not sending back their forms. Cheers JC

Date: 23rd December 1997 From JC


Mark McCabe was quote by unconfirmed sources as saying that today he had his best surf ever! Big statement from a bloke who's been surfing close on 25 years! Mwabe surfed Crunch Point on the low tide this morning with truckloads of swell pushing round the point, a straight offshore (about 5 knots) and what he described as 'kirra like tubes'. All this and it was uncrowded! Further details as they come to hand!

Date: Jan 1998

Subject: Facts about the Prom!

Hoax Coast SUrf Forum - Prom Report Thought I better file a surf report for the Prom this January before it looms so good in my mind it becomes myth. Fact is, in the two weeks we were there we had two onshore days, and not a day without swell. Long time Prom surfcampers were calling this El Nino year ALL TIME - with South Easterlies and in between swells making Gunna hell, but creating classic conditions at Norman Bay, Squeaky Beach and Darby RIver. Some facts about the PROM:

Fact - In the two weeks I had 19 surfs, two of them onshore. Fact - While the swell got up to 6' one day, it stayed between 3-4' and never dropped out.

Fact - One day John surfed for five and a half hours; he was a nazi! Fact - The Prom is not a place to look for barrells - but Andrew found two in quick succession, slotting in beautifully at Darby and then Squeaky

Fact - I had 8 surfs in boardshorts (yes Tony, boardshorts, at the southernmost tip of mainland Australia - the water was warm)

Fact - predominant summer south-easterlies make the Prom a good summer option

Fact - we called any other guys out a crowd! Mal riders and boogers are common. Some young guys ride short boards, the bays are so long (2km) that you can find a peak to yourself without trying.

Fact - Some surfs in the POCKET (the left off the rocks at the extreme south end of Norman Bay) redefined glassy. This was transluscent, Azores-like, emerald city, absolutely clear water and waves that didn't feather but pitched forward without a trace of wind.

Fact - One long time mal guy said he's not coming back to the Prom next year 'this is it for another ten years', he said.

Fact - The March flies are getting bigger and diversifying. One new strand has huge green eyes and no reflexes. Fact - When you can get up, walk down and have a surf and then come back for breakfast, a good day is starting.

Fact - while you don't actually get sick of surfing after catching hundreds of waves, your body does say, give me a rest (see Gavin's spaghetti arms post!) Under-rated (luckily), this was day after day of waves. Not Burleigh, or even Bells (or Byron) but day after day of uncrowded beach breaks between 2-5'. You've got to like that!

Date: 1/3/1998

Subject: PSC Contest Fear and loathing at Gunnamatta from Warrick

THE STATS. Well, my long awaited return to competitive surfing was marked by the following in a totally mind-numbing day that began at 8.55 am when we headed down to the Point and ended at 7.20 pm when John dropped me back off at home. During that time I:

*actually surfed for half an hour

*watched closeout Gunnamatta for approximately 4 hours

*watched the car park asphalt for approximately 4.5 hours

*walked up and down the steps at first car park 35 times

*enjoyed the brisk feeling of the onshore in the face getting stronger as the day went on

*went to the wrong contest - Mal addiction were at Gunnery holding theirs

*judged two heats and got told off by Head Judge Glen BEST for scoring too highly

*argued the point about ASP rules re. incomplete manouvers; ie. a 10 second barrell that a guy doesn't come out of can't score highly because it's incomplete

*had a shithouse pie from Gunnamatta SLSC

*looked for bin to put it in

*there wasn't one

*John threw pie into bushes

*left paper jammed in table

*drank one can of VB

*drank one can of light

*saw three good waves surfed

*saw 873 shithouse ones

*saw the longest dog lead ever - 37 metres while stud-collared bull terrier on one end and attractive younger version of girl on the other

*said the Prom would be good 7 times

*said Right Point would be good 3 times

*said home would be good 12 times *finished 6th in a seven man straight final

*got swept by a 30 knot rip into the bowels of the right when I was intending to be surfing the left

*wondered why the club would hold a contest in such absolute shit that you wouldn't have a free surf in it if it was forty degrees

*pondered over the logic of 'because they have to get the contest finished this weekend' (after all, it is March!)

*rejoined the PSC after an interval of some 14 years; the young fellows running the Club now are much more polite than in 'my day'

*watched Duffy then Johnno, then Geoff get progressively pissed off in constant mood swings

*grimaced at the wipeout of the day as some guy got poleaxed in a board-breakin' double up left shorebreak

*marvelled while Duffy played games with out mind by sitting on top of the hill in his car all alone for half an hour watching..watching..watching

*packed up the PSC banner

*had some of my waves allocated to John (or at least that's how he explained it)

*listened attentively while Besty explained his contest prowess

*loved watching Howey squirm as some guy hassled him on his judging - 'You missed too of my waves man. All your mates gave me 7 waves, you gave me 5''

*hated how the same conversation was going half an hour later

*played trivia with Beetle Bailey who wanted to know who that rich guy in the Dobie Gillis was..something something the third he thought.

*listened more attentively as Howey lectured as all on how we weren't to leave because nobody would like us any more if we did

*listened carefully to the response that nobody liked us anyway

*enjoyed the surfing of the girls in the club

*enjoyed telling Howey that his hair under his hat looked like Krusty the Clown (mainly because wife Linda has been hanging shit on me for having a daggy short haircut)

*enjoyed Geoff saying after the final, 'take a good look at me in this contest singlet, because you're not going to see it again' (he always says that)

*enjoyed watching Mark Mcabe paddling his 8 footer through 6' closeouts while winning the Mal section

*didn't enjoy pushing my 7'4"er through 6' closeouts while losing the Senior Masters section

*thought of better names for senior masters; they are; Gurus, Groovy Gurus, Super Gurus.

*made one of the three pleading begging simpering how could you hold your head up high after your mates have heard you beg mobile phone calls to assorted wives on the way home in the car

*marvelled at the results of the Gurus final; 1. Glen Best, 2. Gavin Duffy, 3. Mark Howey (previous winner), 4. John o' the sea Collins (aka Johnny Boy Collins) 5. Geoff Vockler. 6. Warrick Wynne. 7. A Chinese gentleman nobody knew who (Howey alleges) threw his board away when first breaking wave appeared.

Date: March 9 1998

Subject: JC Profile

Name: John Collins Nicknames: Jonno the sea , Enz , jc , john-ho , johnny-boy ,collenzo Favourite Surfer :K. Slater Favourite Victorian Surfer:Andy & Nick Collins Favourite Surf Breaks - Bells Bowl , gunnamatta dtb , hossigor, prom Favourite Surf Movie. Morning of the Earth The break you most commonly surf Gunnamatta The board I'm currently surfing is...7.4" hybrid thruster The best board I ever owned was...MICK PIERCE 4 FINNER Describe your most memorable session ever... Gunnamatta dtb lefthander , me and the Buzz - tube city . late 70's The best thing about surfing is... The thrill of the possible tube Anything else you'd like us to know? Surfing is as cosmic as a buddhist monk sitting on a temple rock at sunrise .

Date: March 10, 1998

Subject: Hubbard Profile

>Name Steve Hubbard >Nicknames (please remember this is a family mailing list!)Hubba >Favourite Surfer Tom Carrol >Favourite Victorian Surfer Mark Walker >Favourite Surf Break Gunnamatta >Favourite Surf Movie Endless Summer II >The break you most commonly surf Rye Carpark >The board I'm currently surfing is...6'10'' McCoy - Nugget >The best board I ever owned was...6'4'' T and C bought off the rack at >Peninsula Surf Shop in the 1977. >Describe your most memorable session ever. 6' St Andrews, 4 of my mates >out, I could do no wrong. >The best thing about surfing is...The drop and the bottom turn, you then >know you have it. >Anything else you'd like us to know? No >

Date: March 11, 1998

Subject: Mark Howey Profile

Name Mark Howey > Nicknames (please remember this is a family mailing list!) Hoee > Favourite Surfer Simon Anderson > Favourite Victorian Surfer Gary Taylor > Favourite Surf Break Gunna > Favourite Surf Movie Endless Summer > The break you most commonly surf First Car Park Gunna > The board I'm currently surfing is... 6' 8" Thruster, Triggers > The best board I ever owned was... 6' 6" Clem Bell > Describe your most memorable session ever. " Belangin" Bali 1990 > The best thing about surfing is... Standing up > Anything else you'd like us to know? >

Date: March 11, 1998

Subject: Mwabe Profile

MWABE Past- MICHAEL PETERSON Current - SLATER Past- CHRIS CORNELL Current - HOWIE (Always entertaining.) KUTA REEF MORNING OF THE EARTH POINT/ FIRST CARPARK 8FT TRIGGER MINI MAL 6ft 6" TRIGGER ROUND PINTAIL SINGLE FIN. 1977 (The board that progressed me the most.) KUTA REEF 6-8FT on dusk dead glass 3 guys out. THE WHOLE DEAL INVOLVED IN IT.(Places, travel, people, the act itself etc.) FRANK WALLACE v GEOFF VOCKLER . LONG LIVE THE BATTLE ROYALE.

Date: March 11, 1998

Subject: Duffy Profile

>Name Gavin Duffy >Nicknames (please remember this is a family mailing list!) Baron, Chicko, Sir >Favourite Surfer Camel >Favourite Victorian Surfer Darren Watson >Favourite Surf Break Kuta Reef - When its solid and uncrowded >Favourite Surf Movie Not Morning of the Earth - The Performers, I think... >The break you most commonly surf Gunna 1st C.P. (I think it's the only Beach reak on the coast). >The board I'm currently surfing is... Garry Taylor 6'5"x18 3/4" Rounded square tail Thruster >The best board I ever owned was... Peter White 6' twin fin potato chip >Describe your most memorable session ever. Merrimbula River mouth 4'-6' with only a few locals out about 13 years ago >The best thing about surfing is... As Madonna said... Express yourself >Anything else you'd like us to know? I don't think it's fair to rude to someone who just happens to go out and win a surf conest.

Date: March 15, 1998

Subject: The Waves in the Bay

Hoax Coast Surf Forum - Famous Surf Posting #2 -

The Names in the Bay

Green Steps - straight out from Gulls Way, Daveys Bay - best on a north-westerly, sandy bottom, can be hard to paddle out.

Lefts and rights, though with a true north-westerly the lefts are better in the way they hit the sandbank. The best paddle out spot is just south of the little creek though surf to right of the creek. Harry lost a fin on the rocks here in 1974.

Davey's Bay Pier (aka The Pier) - The Yacht club pier provides good easy access (just hang on tight to your board so you don't get blown away - there is no handrail) Jumping off the pier requires timing and panache and the pier has been surfed through on occasions when the tide is low enough. The pier is basically a left and when it works is one of the longest waves in the bay.

Hairy Bower (aka Point Davey) - This left requires the right tide and is a true point break. On a REALLY strong west/south-west waves can wrap around here giving you a good sheltered surf on the windiest days. (similar to Mills Beach, Mornington but less rippy) There is also a deep outer reef in deep water beyond the point that breaks rarely when it's huge.

Rockpiles (Canadian Bay) - Canadian Bay faces straighter west and is rockier, hence the name. Rockpiles is the northern most spot in Canadian Bay. (Little known fact - there is a small bay BETWEEN Canadian Bay and Davey's Bay - no surf)

Razor Blades (Canadian Bay) - Greg McConville pionereed this heavy joint. Very sharp rocks in the days when booties weren't invented and we still used venetian blind cord and a sock for a legrope. Genuinely hollow, as very shallow onshore waves can be thick and hollow.

Gritznos - The left at the south end of Mills Beach in Mornington - John and I surfed this one howling day last winter. There's a strong rip at Mills Beach even on mildly windy days but this is a weird bay surf. You can park the car about three foot from the water, get changed and paddle out along the point close to the rocks quite easily. As soon as you get past the point the wind hits you and you start getting blown down the bay. The seawalls and the fancy Beleura Hills houses give the place a vaguely European feel - say Spain, mid-winter!

The Baths (Brighton) - Well, there were baths there once, and it WAS considered the best spot in the bay. Now the baths are gone the sand seems to have shifted a little. This place actually used to get crowded; I've seen twenty plus guys out there on a week night and some genuinely good surfing. It was written up in the (Herald?) surf column a couple of times during the late 1970s.

The Pier (FrankstonPier) - Another good place to get out on a big day, the close presence of Kananook Creek makes the wind direction critical. If it's too northerly, don't bother, you'll just get sick! Frankston Pier has four sets of sandbanks and they're remarkably shallow so waves can get steep. It needs to be at the third set to be good, fourth set best! Lock your car.

Bird Rock - just down the end of my street, Bird Rock is deep, meaning that waves are short but easy to get out to. Andrew Wynne has surfed this place with MSC kids when the 'REAL' surf has been blown out. Bird Rock itself, while attractive looking with the waves hitting it, is virtually unsurfable I think.

Carrum River mouth - who hasn't seen the waves peeling into the rivermouth, wrapping along the bank and wondered what if...? Well, Hubbard and the St Bede's boys did surf this spot regularly in the late 70s and it is still surfed today.

And, though this might be stretching it a bit, What about those little joitns (Malaria and Leprosy) that are inside the quarintine station on the bay side and break on a big swell? Bay Surf!

And, isn't QUARINTINE itself, strictly speaking, inside the heads, and thus the best spot in the BAY? and ... Very perceptive of Warrick to name Razor Blades (mid Canadian bay) I thought that was a very secret spot ( I never actually surfed it post St Bedesand wasnt aware anyone else did , also ,

I hate to bring it up for the 100th time but I did once see Harry get a full dry barrell at Canadian Bay just near the clubhouse. Another good lefthander on a westerly (high tide) is "Little Tit" , the northern point at Daveys Bay near Olivers Hill. Also the Point south of Mornington pier opposite Kirks has a very ledgy righthander on a South westerly . Another real wave in the bay forms on an outer reef between Portsea and Sorrento . The reef is about 100 metres offshore that windsurfers often ride when the ocean swell is up ( small Pines swell) . It breaks around 2-3 feet on glassy days! Dont know what it is called. Just One more on the bay from me I have noticed a well shaped breaking reef in the middle of Ranalagh bay about 20-30 metres offshore -theres a marker beacon on the reef Even on the strongest westerly its protected and calm inside the reef and is very deep (no peaks) either side so it kind of looks like a real wave-left and right reef break-probably never been surfed but looks promising from the clubhouse bar. I think Ill name it Buzzards as a dedication to the hoax coast forum administrator (that way i may be able to convince him to surf it with me one day)

Date: March 1998

Subject: Magic Names

> Magic lands at Woolami is one of my favourites while the all time >piss-poor names have to be :- > >1. first reef >2. second reef It's this sort of subversive talk that could result in these breaks being renamed to suit some bloody uppity bastard who wants to fiddle with our great traditions. I still refer to Addicts as Second Carpark and anywhere else on that beach as 'down the beach at second carpark'. Nothing that Warrick Wynne can do or say will change that. He has even invented a new name for the second walkway - Poles. I still call Beach No 16, Beach Number 16 even if the new breed call it Lizard Head. Honeysuckle will remain Honeysuckle, despite the Shoreham Point users. I feel much better now. Hubba

Date: April 1998

Subject: Dusk at Honeysuckle

Hoax Coast Surf Forum - 2/4/1998 - Honeysuckle. Late Autumn evening with a smoky high mother of pearl sky and I swear I could smell smoke as I was paddling out to the glassy little peeling waves around three to four feet with a super high tide; has Easter been and gone? It was that kind of luminous kind of late light; high clouds and you could pick out every Pine tree above Little Noosa. Caught Andrew Wynne, notorious mid-week hoaxter, just getting out of the water after scamming another one, all knocked up getting waves. He said it had been more consistent on the slightly lower tide as Honeysuckle so often is, and talked of the big swell that had arrived earlier that week; a kind of messy ugly swell from someplace cold and far away. He said he'd been out Honeysuckle by himself and got spooked. It was black-grey sky and windy with wedges of swell pushing down to very big and out of control Point, Second Reef and a flat bombi with tons of white water. He drove round to Crunch Point in his wetsuit and paddled out with four other guys for a bit of company. Coming out on dark tonight I could see the lights of a big ship coming from way down the channel off Hastings maybe. And the lights coming on all over the island. Warrick

Date: 12/4/1998

Subject: West Coast Story

Just got back from a couple of days on the SURF COAST around Bells watching the contest and getting some waves. Looking out at the lineup of point breaks from Centreside through to Bird Rock made John Collin's HOAX COAST term for the East Coast pretty telling. Got to see Stinga Ray clearly beat Kelly Slater (though Kelly's come from nowhere full disappear barrel in 6' onshore Bells bowl was amazing) and got to see that no-one hits the lip harder than Occy (backhand or forehand) Also surfed STEPS and BOOBs around 6', which was fun. Boobs yesterday morning was glassy and lining up. Also good to see that, in a crowded bar in Torquay on Friday night hoax coasters Gavin & John finally met Leigh Parsons face to face after being on the surf forum for over a year. They got on find, though Leigh was seen drinking some vile green concotions when last spotted.

Date: Tuesday, 19 May 1998

Subject: Re: Meet the Hoaxters - Warrick

#9 Warrick >Profile number# 9 ³ The thinking mans surfer ². > >Wazza is universally accepted by the Daveys Bay Team (the founding >fathers of the Hoax coast network) as the brain of the Bay. He is the >ubiquitous ² thinking man`s surfer². A rangy goofy footer of >considerable style and power and a dedicated father and husband , >Wazza is simply passionate about what he holds close ; his family >,surfing , friends , the bombers , writing , managing and teaching >. Like so many of the bay he appears to be a conundrum , an enigma >and a contradiction in terms. How could one so intense about surfing >retreat for near on a decade , then return with seemingly greater >fervour, reemerging with the same youthful skill and finesse he left >behind ? Why would a respected academic of such obvious talent, with >published works in the domains of education and poetry, bother to >explore the inner spaces of the Point Leo Shoreham beaches just to >rediscover the discovered and play games with his mates ? > >By Jc > >> Nicknames (please remember this is a family mailing list!) Woz, Wozza, Buzzy >> Favourite Surfer Michael Peterson >> Favourite Victorian Surfer Chris Cornell >> Favourite Surf Break - Church Yards >> Favourite Surf Movie Morning of the Earth >> The break you most commonly surf Gunnamatta (2nd Car Park) >> The board I'm currently surfing is... 7'4' Thruster (Gary Taylor shape) >> The best board I ever owned was... 6'4" OceanFoil Swallowtail >> Describe your most memorable session ever. - Classic 2nd Car Park filth >sick pit lefts on one of those days when it all comes to together at >Gunna; >a classic low tide sucky bank, no rip, no crowds, hot day, t topless >girls >on the beach, yu get the picture. >> The best thing about surfing is... The freedom, baby! Yeah! >> Anything else you'd like us to know? - It may be a hoax coast, but it's >OUR hoax coast. >

Date: May 1998

Subject Meet the Hoaxters - No. 8 in a series Geoff Vockler. [Collect the whole set]

Geoff is the cool one of the gang. Originally from Sydney Geoff has surfed this coast for over twenty years, almost totally at the Point and Gunnamatta. He likes it that way. Geoff is impatient of time-wasting and surf explorations. Get in, get the job done, get out. Growing up in the heady days of the late 70s Geoff's surfing was heavily influenced by the stylish moves of Shaun (the Prawn) Thomson weaving his way through endless tubes at Off the Wall. When he wasn't fighting Geoff could be seen as a grommet sitting open-mouthed in the Mechanics Hall at Frankston, watching in awe the mechanical North Shore perfection. Geoff has worked on bringing those classic qualities to his surfing. Since those days Geoff's surfing has a stylist, timeless quality that is beyond the fads of 'airs', 'ally-ooops' and fin-first take-offs. Though he has competed in ASA and PSC Comps for many years Geoff's surfing is best seen in expression sessions in quality surf. Here, the smooth fluent lines are seen at their best. Geoff works as a plumber who majors in modelling. It's an odd mix that helps explain Geoff's chameleon like qualities of fitting in to any scene. (except perhaps the corporate box at the footy) No doubt you've seen him in the Myers catalogs sometime. Living with his wife and two daughters, Geoff spends a lot of his time these days renovating his rambling mansion overlooking Davey's Bay; right in the 'golden mile', that magic square mile that has Davey's Bay Pier at its apex. On a warm summer night you can see the sparkling lights of the MCG across the bay from his balcony, and you might spot Geoff himself, looking out to sea like the great Gatsby, always working toward perfection. And, if you're really lucky, you might see the Alma Doepel sail by! Name Geoff Vockler Nicname The Vock Favourite Surfer - Todd Prestage Favourite Victorian Surfer - Everist Fave Spot - Gunna Best Movie Morning of the earth Where I surf most - Gunna Current board 6'8" Rounded pin Best board ever - Double fly pin back in 78. Best ever sess. - Queensland breaking from Snapper Rocks to Greenmount ('77) Beset thing about surfing - Dropping in on Howie. My wife's time is precious!

Date: 24/5/1998

Subject Meet the Hoaxters # 10 - Mick Tregaskis

Being the high tech graphic designer that he is, Mick went one step further in his survey, doing it all in HTML. There's one html page, and two images. Takes a little while to download but well worth it. Open up survey.html in your browser and enjoy Michael's responses.20 Michael is the keeper of an extraordinary collection of now historical images of East Coast surfing, some of which he says he will put on the Hoax Coast Home Page. Like many of the hoaxters, Michael has been surfing the East Coast for more than twenty-five years and was an early explorer of secret bay places like Merricks and Balnarring. Quiet and self-effacing, Michael is a talented graphic designer and now partner in the powerful and innovative Powerhouse Design. [actually, when yu think about it, the Hoax Coast forum is top heavy with graphic designers!] Michael lives in Mt Eliza with Dale and Wade. Fourteen year old Wade is fast becoming a bit of a tech-guru like Michael. Michael is considering getting a 'cheat-stick' but is afraid what Besty will say.

Date: 25/5/1998

Meet the Hoaxters - Andrew Wynne

[Collect the whole set or swap them with your friends] 20 Andrew is another of the hoaxters who cut his surfing teeth in the testing, shifting peaks of Green Steps, Davey's Bay. On windy north-westerly afternoons Andrew would run home from Frankston High, grab his personally shaped Gull Surfboard and head down to the Bay for some R&R. It is a little known fact that Andrew was, in his earliest surfing days, a kneeboarder, but soon graduated to the stand up variety and began the carving arcs and powerful Ian Cairns like turns that has made him famous.20 20 Unlike his brother Warrick, Andrew has never given up surfing and come back to it, but has continued through three kids and all the assorted hassles that can bring to your one true pursuit. But it is true to say he's now surfing more often again, and enjoying it more, and has been an enthusiastic advocate for the one-night stand Island or West Coast trips, which have proved increasingly popular.20 20 Andrew now lives in Rosebud North or Main Ridge lower, depending if you believe him or the Melways!, and prides himself on being only 8.5 minutes from Gunna and less than 15 to the Point. Not that he goes there; he just prides himself on being that close! He is the head of the SOSE department at Dromana Secondary College and lives with his young wife Gabrielle and even younger daughter Stephanie in a 'beautiful house'. If you're on your way home from a blown-out Gunna surf check, he makes a remarkably drinkable coffee. Andrew is currently planning his next surf trip - two weeks in Noosa and the Gold Coast this July holidays. You can be sure he'll take good notes for the hoax coast postings! 20 ------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------

Nickname- Drew, Milton, Bulb

Favorite Surfer- Occy

Favourite Victorian Surfer- Maurice Cole

Fave Spot-Qld beachies, Greenmount, Prom, Honeysuckle, Green Steps

Place I Surf Most- Gunna, Leo

Favourite Movie- Big Wednesday

Current Board- 8' Gary Taylor mini mal, 6'10" Gary Taylor Square tail

Best Board ever- My Banana boat

Best ever Session- Big Greenmount 1978, Insides Cape Patterson 1990

Best thing about Surfing- ...the feeling after youve caught your last wave of the day,20 lighting up a smoke and talking bullshit with your mates.

Date - 10/8/1998=20

Subject: Best Crunchy in 2 Years?

Sun: Weird & wonderful swell indeed. The morning report indicated a = rising swell on the open beaches. Arriving at Gunna we were greeted with huge closeouts and the occasional rideable reform ... so after much debate and should we or shouldn't we check the bay, the " you'll always get a wave at Gunna" mentality won = out and the lads went out. (two of the three). As the swell continued to = rise the lads caught a couple of 3-5 reforms. Two to three waves for the = whole session, not bad.

Meanwhile Pt. Leo is getting waves in years up to = five foot at the point. Some of the older locals were calling "crunchie Point The best shape in 2-3years not the biggest but the cleanest. .... Lucky = the Baron decided to go back to Leo and score a very clean and consistant = 3-4' (with odd 5') Crunchie point on the out going tide with swell showing little chance of backing off. And for Howies benefit who was wondering = if Little Harry was surfing Gunna or OPS... he paddled out and surfed = Crunchie point till sunset with Kane and the rest of the guys who for once = thought Gunnna might not br the best option. PS Mick T. surfed Kitty Miller with Herbie and reports dammm good waves = as well. ______________________

Gavin Duffy - Powerhouse Design

Date: Apr 26 2000 00:13:41 EDT From: "Parsons, Leigh"

Subject: Hootas in Mallacouta

Hi Hoaxters, Rather than spend the Easter break down the West Coast this year, the crew who are coming to the Maldives went to Mallacouta instead. I hadn't ever surfed up this part of Vic before, so it was going to be hit or miss about the weather and swell. Fortunately there was a good solid ground swell pushing through for the entire weekend which remained at around 4-5'. The wind was predominantly from the SW, which destroyed any chance of getting beachies, but the Mallacouta rivermouth is sheltered by the point (similar in setup to Lorne Point), and as a result was cross/offshore for the whole time we were there. The inside section of the break, where the river ran out to sea created a very fast very hollow right hander which linked up in many instances from the outside peak, across the rivermouth and into the beachie closeout. Some deep barrels were had on most days as well as a few airborne freefalls out of the lip and also the odd "up close and personals" with the sandy bottom! To top off the trip, we popped into Cape Conran yesterday for a look and found a great A Frame peak right out the front of the East (West?) Cape carpark. Nice 3-4' waves coming through and just a beautiful day in general. Photos of the trip to come..... Did the regular contingent get down to Bells?

Date: May 08 2000 02:41:54 EDT From:

Subject: Henry Herbie Hammond - R.I.P.

On Sunday Morning Henry lost his fight with cancer. He had lived a full and active life and the news of illness caught everyone by suprise. Herbie is survived by his wife Andy and two children Henry and Sebastion and will be greatly missed by all those who knew him.

Date: May 10 2000 00:02:27 EDT From: Warrick Wynne

Subject: Hoax Coast - Remembering Herbie Hoax Coast Surf Forum

That was terrribly sad news about Herbie; I always remember him as a great guy, quiet and unassuming and full-on into his surfing for enjoyment! I went on one of those classic surf road trips with him in 1978; 23 hours non-stop to the Gold Coast with him and Russell Howden and me and Geoff Vockler taking turns to drive (though Geoff kept falling asleep) We got good waves too; mainly Currumbin Alley linking up, years before it got taken over by goat boats, but also at Burleigh and even one session at Kirra! It was the year we discovered the Penthouse Night Club from memory too! A good trip. And a great guy to travel with. The photo below is from that time; I always liked that photo of him; it;s a bit dark, but I like it coz of that simple Queensland feel to it; we'd been surfing 23rd Avenue at Miami or something like that, just little beach breaks that sometimes closed out, sometimes wound off. It was just nice to be in the warm water, coming from Victorian winter to short johns and friendly beach breaks. Warrick

Date: Dec 04 2000 20:33:57 EST From: Warrick Wynne

Subject: Hoax Coast: PSC Elections

In what amounts to an extraordinary takeover of the Peninsula Surfrider's Club by the Davey's Bay faction the following positions were announced at their AGM last night: Mark Howey - President Geoff Vockler - Vice-President Gavin Dufy - Secretrary Congratulations all round; the Reefies and the St Andrews Boys would be turning in their graves!

Date: 8/2/2001

Subject: The Natural History of Gunna

Low tide last night and dozens of helmeted grommies with Mac-ts cavort happily in the shallows, learning to surf, their gleeful shouts echoing down the Gunamatta Beach. Next year, the protective Prue will leave them and they will have to fend for themselves. On the right hander the younger riders, some only in boardshorts, have to make way for the pack's leaders, three grizzly old men on mals soul-arching through the sections. Crossing them can leave the young whipper-snappers with very deep scars. On the left a lucky Warrick has found a little territory all his own with 3' waves zippling along the edge of a knee-deep sand-bank. A two headed creature that is really a man dinking his girlfriend on a boogy board appear, then disappear down the beach. Two bikini-clad spunks venture timidly out onto the bank, take a quick plunge then return to the beach to display their plumage. A bear appears on the left, other scavengers follow. Soon the sun begins to set and the creatures begin to return to shore. Another day has ended. W.

Date: 3/3/2001

Subject: Gav's Back

Four months and two hundred bad moody looks at the surf on the internet later, Gavin was back where he belonged today; mixing it up in horrible mushy Gunna. After injuring his foot in a freak motorbike accident late last year, Gav has spent the entire summer watching on and now he's fired up to get back into it. Bad luck his legrope broke on his very first wave back and he had to swim in!

Date: Mar 16 2001 18:32:31 EST From: "Warrick Wynne"

Subject: Hoax Coast: Bay Alert!

Bay Alert: Had a walk down to look at Bird Rock this morning and there were three guys out! Could be on for D-Bay later in the morning judging by the forecast below: BUREAU OF METEOROLOGY VICTORIAN REGIONAL OFFICE Boating Forecast for Port Phillip Bay and Western Port Issued at 0505 on Saturday the 17th of March 2001 IMPORTANT INFORMATION * Wind speed refers to the average speed over a 10 minute period. Gusts may be up to 40 per cent stronger than the average speed. * Wave and swell heights refer to 'significant wave heights' representing the average of the highest one third of waves. The likely maximum wave height can be up to twice the significant wave height. Northwest to westerly wind of 20 to 30 knots tending southwesterly at 25 to 35 knots during the morning before easing to 20 to 30 knots in the afternoon, then to 15 to 25 knots tonight. Waves of 1 to 2 metres, locally 2.5 metres during the morning. A gale warning is current.

Date: Apr 27 2001 06:55:08 EDT From: "Warrick Wynne"

Subject: Hoax Coast: Convergence

Not much could make me miss Friday night drinks with the boys. Perhaps the beginnings of a new ground swell, or something exciting like picking up a new board. What about if both those events occurred together? Like all the planets lining up in that once in a lifetime kind of thing! So it was tonight speeding toward Pt Leo after ringing Triggers and being assured the new stick (well, at 9' it's more a plank than a stick) was ready and I could pick it up after 4.00 pm and the surf was going off. Unfortunately, Triggsy had got talking to Little Harry when they were checking the Point and had forgotten the bottom of my board needed its final coat and was still spraying it when I got there.

Not to worry, he said, and I watched him do the final spray and then stick the board in the hot room to cure it while we talked about the new swell and the waves that day. He's already surfed twice (at Crunchy, and then at Pines and was stil super-keen to get into the water for anothery (which might make it a tough call with Gavin over who's really the oldest grommet on the coast. He was stoked in the new board (he'd got one the same as my new one) modelled on the famous Mark McCabe mal which is one of those rare things in surfing; an out and out MAGIC board. Shaped by GT, Phil T. surfed it at Gunna and couldn't believe how well it went and he was blown away with how well his had gone at Pines. He talked about how well Mwabe was surfing on his board; everyone was talking about it, which didn't annoy me as you might imagine it would, since I was getting a MAGIC board too.

Everyone in the shop is getting edgy to closeup and get out there, checking out the wind (there's none) and planning to hit the Point. Then finally, the fins are in, and I'm out of there, heading round to the Point with Crunchy lining up grey and glassy and solid (4-5') It's pure glass and bigger than it looked from the road, walling up with about ten guys out. I paddle out; the board paddles well and get a few with the sun out! shining that real-yellow late light you get when the rest of the sky is shrouded in cloud, and it's getting a bit dark. Inside, Triggsy is flying on one on his short board in his third surf for the day and the crew gradually depletes as it gets darker. One last one, and with a mal you can go a fair way! Though not as far as Treolars where there's a couple of guys surfing that fabled spot in the dusk, and having fun.

Getting changed in the gloom there's a few gusts of wind and suddenly I can hear rain in the trees around, and on the grass. But I can't feel any! No drops land on me, though it's plainly raining! It's like it's begun to rain all around me and I'm getting changed in this spot which is dry. Then I'm tying on the giant board and heading home with a cold can So the moral is; there could be waves around tomorrow. Warrick